Divorce is painful and overwhelming, often unveiling a strong need for emotional support and companionship. However, there are many reasons to reconsider pursuing a new relationship. Although you may feel as though your marriage has ended, it’s not officially over until the court declares it so. Dating while in the middle of a divorce can introduce many problems.
Here are three reasons why you should date after divorce instead:
Dating may leave a bad impression on the judge
Although adultery is not illegal in Hawaii, dating before a divorce is final can leave a bad impression. As the court determines the terms of your divorce, all of your actions will be under scrutiny.
Hawaii is a no-fault divorce state. Adultery and other marital misconduct should have no bearing on alimony and child custody decisions. However, the court may view dating as harmful to the child’s best interests if it interferes with your ability to be a good parent. The court may rule against you if you engage in reckless behavior like binge drinking or neglect your children because of your new partner.
Dating someone new may hurt your child emotionally
You and your child will have to undergo many changes after the divorce. Introducing a new person to a child before they have had time to adjust to your divorce can be emotionally and psychologically damaging.
If you put your child’s needs first during a divorce, they may have an easier time embracing your new relationships in the future.
Dating may aggravate your former spouse
When divorcing, it’s best if both parties can agree on terms beforehand. If you start cohabiting or dating someone new, it may upset your former spouse. They may intentionally complicate matters during negotiations or create conflicts, making your divorce more stressful than it needs to be.
The end of a marriage is a loss. It’s a painful process to go through, but it is necessary to start healing. A new relationship may not be what you need right now. However, this does not mean you have to go through it alone. If it’s too difficult, you can seek comfort from loved ones or reach out to a professional counselor.