Many people assume that the best thing for children is to have two married parents, so they may say they’re staying together for the kids. They do not want to be married, but they think they should be so the children have more stability.
Is this true? Is it always bad for children to go through a divorce, and do they need to have married parents in order to be successful later in life?
They need to have loving and involved parents
What children really need is involvement with both of their parents. This is what helps to define how well they do academically, socially and developmentally. It’s also the reason that children of divorce sometimes struggle in these areas. If their parents are not as involved in their life after the split, they don’t get those benefits that they would have had if their parents remained married.
However, no part of this indicates that the parents need to be married in order to provide these benefits to their children. They just need to love them and to be involved in their lives. Co-parents who are willing to share custody and work together are just as able to raise children who are well developed, academically successful and developmentally on track as married parents.
In fact, it may be more detrimental to a child’s development if they live in a home where their parents are unhappy and there is a lot of conflict. Stress, arguments, and disagreements can take a toll on children over time as they watch the way their parents interact.
If you are thinking about getting a divorce, you need to know exactly what steps to take and how you can work to put your children first.