You have probably heard this many times. Someone you know says they are staying in a miserable marriage solely because of their kids.
The breakup of a child’s parents’ marriage is very traumatic, of course. Having Mom and Dad go their separate ways can be emotionally crushing and even scarring to a youngster. But is it preferable and healthy for children to grow up with two parents who are always screaming, have lost respect for each other and are no longer honoring their marital vows?
Right now versus later on
In the opinion of one expert, for the time being, it is preferable to stay with your spouse even if the relationship has turned rocky. The stability that usually comes with having both of you under one roof is crucial to a child even if the situation between you and your spouse is not exactly ideal.
In the long run, though, being in a household with the two of you when your marriage has entered the deep freeze phase can be very damaging to a kid. Divorce, on the other hand, can be liberating for you and the children. No more walking on eggshells, no more listening to loud fights, no more anxiety and anguish for everyone.
Easing your child through the pain of your divorce
There are some things you (and hopefully your ex) can do to help your youngster land on their feet after your divorce.
- Make positive comments about your ex
- Help them learn how to cope with adversity
- Spend time and be loving with them
- Create a support system
- Set boundaries and limits
All of you can recover
Knowing that you and the kids will bounce back from the divorce can be a genuine ray of light during a dark time. Having people who care around you for advice and support counts a lot, too.
